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Friday, November 5, 2010

Dona Nobis Pacem ~ Write On My Heart Every Word

When my Papa was middle-aged, he found the love of his life.
She was my grandmother.  And through the years I was privileged enough to watch them live out that love right in front of me. While they surely had struggles and bumps like everyone else, they had something else too. What was it?
I am pleased to report that I don’t know.

But I saw it when he looked at her.
And I heard it in his laugh.

I learned what to expect from men in my faraway future by watching him treat her with respect, with dignity, with never-ending fascination. I learned what a real man worth his salt in this world should look like, should act like, should be.  For all her many quirks and eccentricities and no matter how many times the wigs flew off or the cigarette dipped in the morning coffee cup, he gifted her with unwavering love and devotion. Sometimes it was eye-rolling twinkled-eyed devotion - but devotion nonetheless.
She was and would always be the love of his life.

  There were many things about my beloved grandmother that could-make-a-preacher-cuss (some might say I inherited some of that cussability factor) and many differences in the way they went about coping with their worlds and dealing with people - she, a colorful and semi-raucous individual with a sly and wrinkled nose glance, a hopeless and rather comical hypochondriac and a penchant for high heels and gentle dancing. He, a protective bear of a man at every turn, confident, happy and a hopeful sufferer of legitimate ailments yet incapable of feeling anything but gratitude for each day he lived, whether or not he was in pain and more than determined to make her imaginary illnesses tolerable by ministering to her every need even when we all knew that the bat of her eyelash was more for his benefit than needed salve for any ailment. It wasn’t in his nature to argue with the beautiful and whimsy creature he called wife.
She was a character foreign to his outward way of living but crucial to his inward way of loving.

The inward was always more important to my Papa.
They were delicately and diametrically different. 
All of that disappeared the minute she looked across the table at him. I saw it many times.
She never smiled at him; she smiled into him.  He smiled into her.
What WAS that?

I am happy to report that I do not know.



All I know is.....
You don’t know you have it until you’ve got it.
You don’t know you don't have it until you’ve got it.
You don’t know you need it….until you don’t.
Enter gothic grandmother and a tall praying man in a fine starched shirt and matching hat.

It occurred to me this week in preparation for peace week that as much as I’ve focused on what my Papa and those marvelous marbles have taught me in my spirit and heart since this whole peace globe movement began and how the whole blessed thing is in reality based on NOTHING I can logically explain and how it was birthed with the little girl in my heart who missed her grandfather ….and wanted to honor his influence in my life, that really, in essence,  the entire scope of the peace globe movement is based on coincidences of random occurrences that blossomed into a cohesive ball of fire and substance - much like their relationship, much like their example, much like their love.

  I wrote a post. I made a graphic.  I found the earth marble made by my Papa in the 1920s.
  I write a story. I tell it to you. You tell it to others. A movement begins.
And it makes perfect sense, no?

Like the round agate blue earth ball in the middle of the wooden bowl I love so much, there is a never-endingness in the idea that when one story, one idea, one truth touches the global heart of man  it spontaneously perpetuates into all manner of mutated species and cultures, blind to the differences, tolerant of the language barriers, spinning wildly out of control on the same blue rock we call planet Earth. It still maintains the composite structure of rocks and of people and of Earth, building strength as it cohesively binds to the next rock and the next rock and one after that.
Until finally there is nothing but a big blue rock of all that is, hopefully, peaceful and good.


Somehow in a roundabout collision course of uncanny coincidences from start to finish, it makes perfect sense and it makes no sense at all. And on a personal level it seems the salty lessons are engraved on my heart in reams so deeply true that I can’t tell where one memory ends and another begins.
And that’s just it.

The most eternally rich experiences in life make no sense at all.

If I knew how to explain it all in scientific cosmic terms that make sense, I would. I would tell you why it is that out of my pen keeps spinning tales of a life that began nearly a century ago and speak to me now …I would tell you how that came to be if I knew how to do so.

I am pleased to report that I do not.

And really.
Why do I want to mess with a perfectly imperfect chain of events that led me here…to one of the happiest places in the span of my life?

And then I remembered the Cokesbury.
And the song.
What WAS that song?
I've had that book on my mind for days. Where is it? What have I done with it? What does it have to do with peace globes? Here I sit on another Dona Nobis Pacem Eve and have not finished my own post. It is perfect imperfection! Again!  Four hours 'til the stroke of midnight and I have a half-baked peace post. When the muse stops speaking, I stop writing. That is how it is in my pen-shaped pencil skirt world.
So this afternoon while Australia and New Zealand blogged peace on the other side of the world, their fearless leader went outside to pick a few wild pink mums. I had visions of hippie flowers in my hair and silliness for BlogBlast For Peace Day.

The muse had another idea.

The song...the song....Something about moving along and being tempted and tried and it had a certain predictable lilt that made you want to know more and yet somehow you knew there would be no answers really and that the same song would be sung next Sunday in the very church you see here by the same out-of-tune grandmother and all would be right with her out-of-tune world.
I decided to find the hymnal. 


So I went downstairs to a box of music books and fished it out from the dust of funeral services gone by. It was Papa's personal copy. I ran my fingers across the inside cover scribbled with the name of a man who could not sing above a mumble. And I remembered…and heard the music....and remembered.  The smell of the wooden pews. The polish. The carpet. The altar. The tinny tuned piano. How joyfully my grandmother stood in the little country church you see here and held that proud brown Cokesbury with his name in it. She was an “alto“ and proud of it. On the back row. Middle. She sang. And sang. And sang. And even as I use that term loosely in her dearly departed presence I remember how she made me learn to read shape notes. It made her happy. It made my piano teacher crazy. It didn't matter. Nobody could sing as badly and with as much joy as my grandmother. Truly. (don't tell her I said that) Oh I knew I'd get a rap on my knuckles from my teacher. It didn't matter. I'd rather have my grandmother's joy.

Opening the leather-bound 1939 "Favorite Books and Hymns" I sang the song.
There it was. Page 38.
I laid Bloggingham's flowers on the page.
 "Farther along we'll know all about it. Farther along we'll understand why. Cheer up my brother. Live in the sunshine. We'll understand it. All by and by." 
 NOW I remember why that song bothered me so. Who wants to wait to understand? Sigh. I found it uninspiring... so....so....depressing. Yes, that's it. Depressing. Except for one thing.

My grandmother. She always smiled through the whole thing. Every square sour note. Like there was some secret between the tempteds and trieds and the toils of the wicked verse that I just didn't get.
What WAS that?
I am happy to report that I do not know.

But I'm betting she did. Maybe I was more than a little irritated that she could grin through natural spiritual disasters and I couldn't. Who wants to "cheer up and live in the sunshine" when the world is falling apart?

Certainly not moody Mimi.

I was a serious child. When things worth being serious about show up in my world, I tend to be a serious adult. And I see the enormous challenges we face as a global community. I know you do too. As a people struggling to live in peace with one another on the world stage of mismatched choirs,  fearful that this great blue earth ball of dirt and water we inhabit will one day implode under the weight of it all…we are perpetual experts at the struggle. It is sobering. I understood Grandmother's song better than she thought. We are brilliant at round tabling. We are bodacious builders of peace-seeking strategies. PowerPoint pacifism. Stupendously adept at the fine fine art of peace-building on paper.

We fail miserably at retreat.
We run screaming from surrender.

We don't want to believe in anything we can't see, smell, touch and understand.
I understood that grandmother couldn't sing.
I understood that I hated that dreary song.
I understood that grandmother understood that there was no rhyme or reason in her Pollyanna philosophy.
And I understood that it mattered not one iota to her.
 I wondered why....why the winks and smiles in church...why the knowing nods between the two of them.....why the certainty that every uncertainty known to man was a certain source of their joy. They didn't need to understand why. 
I was certain of that.


My grandmother couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket. But she thought she could. And when she would sing in the old country church choir, it would make my ears hurt (Don’t tell her I said that).
But Papa didn’t mind. He couldn’t sing either. And to him, her voice was as beautiful as her face…or her Hollywood sunglasses, her long dark hair under the hats they shared or the strange strange way their unlikely union seemed to jell into one -  despite her minor-keyed world of wigs and harmonies unknown to man.

He learned to surrender.
No. I take that back.
He loved to surrender.

And that is the word we must put before any attempt at laying down of arms

We have to teach each other not how to unmake war but how to remake peace.
Because truly, if we believe that words are powerful and if we believe those incredible words of Mother Teresa’s about how peace is unattainable because we have simply forgotten that we belong to each other, then we wouldn’t have to think at the think tank of perpetual peace talks at all.
We could just step out of struggle and live in the shiny world of Cheer up my Brother and actually live in the sunshine.
All it takes is a life force on this planet willing to take the first step.
And show the other side that trust is not only a scary thing, but the only way.

Which brings me back to my grandfather's Cokesbury Worship Hymnal.

I needed to trust the muse.

The last time he held this book in his hands was the Sunday before he died. In the back of the book there are Responsive Readings. He often led the congregation in those readings. I could not get that book off my brain this week. I needed to find it. After I brought it upstairs, sang from the shaped notes hymnal of cheer-up doom and gave my mums to my grandmother's memory, I started thumbing through the back of The Cokesbury.

Would you like to take a wild guess where his page was turned down?


Why is that?
I am happy to report that I do not know.

But here in Bloggingham tonight, bound to my grandparents' memory is a small bouquet of wild pink peace mums laid on a bed of uncommon love, shaped oddly like the sound of a far away tune in a church full of cheer in the middle of plowshares and pruning hooks. 

"Nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war any more."
Maybe we keep asking for the same struggle and getting exactly what we ask for because we’re not ready to lay down the most powerful weapon we have
Love








BlogBlast For Peace Participants
1. Travis
2. rlbates, Suture for a Living
3. Cactus Jack Splash
4. Anndi
5. Billie Greenwood ~ The Peace Tree
6. Michelle of CrowsFeet
7. Get your peace globe here
8. DrillerAA
9. John
10. Bazza
11. Ferd
12. Jamie
13. Annelisa
14. Peace Geek
15. CyberCelt
16. Cats~Goats~Quotes
17. goodnightgram
18. Angel Charybdis
19. kathleenmaher
20. Sherry Blue Sky
21. Arlene 2
22. Lel� Batita
23. ramblingwoods
24. Billie Greenwood~Border Explorer
25. Silvia Salix
26. Lynette Killam
27. Lui
28. Julia Smith
29. Luma Rosa
30. Mike Golch
31. Mike Golch
32. The Gal Herself
33. jmb
34. finding pam
35. Gail Faith Edwards
36. ipanema
37. ~Serendipity~
38. One Heart
39. Carver's Sight
40. Carver Cards
41. nelson
42. nonamedufus
43. Angell
44. Elephant's Eye
45. Cory
46. Robin from Israel
47. Thomma Lyn
48. Nora Tompson
49. Noe Noe Girl
50. Friends FurEver
51. teabird
52. Zoolatry
53. Kattonic Cats
54. Marie-Eve
55. Daryl
56. Microcosm
57. Brian's Home
58. Kwizgiver
59. Sweet Praline
60. Leesa
61. Anne
62. meowers from missouri
63. Pricilla
64. Terica Luxton
65. Barbara
66. Stacy Uncorked
67. browser life
68. Gemma @ Greyscale, AUS
69. trish @ mylittledrummerboys
70. PY
71. Suldog
72. Cats of Wildcat Woods
73. BLOGitse
74. Cat with a Garden
75. SueB of Blondin Blogs
76. DrillerAA
77. Mimi Lenox
78. Lisa Groggy Froggy Plummer
79. Ann Tracy
80. Joanne
81. Jamie Muse
82. empress bee (of the high sea)
83. Ophiuchus
84. Bluezy
85. Sparkle the Designer Cat
86. The Island Cats
87. Jennie Marsland
88. Mickey,Georgia & Tillie
89. rUTH jENNER
90. the cookntchermom
91. Sherry Blue Sky
92. Tarheel Rambler
93. sue at sunflower roots
94. Victor Tabbycat & Nina Torbie
95. Heather
96. Max & Buddah
97. Buddah & Max
98. Thumper
99. Basinah ~ The Crow's Song
100. Goodness Gracie
101. Vicki Cook
102. Bluezy's Virtual Dumpster Dive
103. Question Liberty
104. Kimmie
105. Carolina Mountains
106. Samantha, Clementine & Maverick
107. julie
108. Raven
109. And It Came To Pass
110. Kattonic Cats
111. Mimi Lenox
112. Robin from Israel
113. Brenda L.
114. trish @ mylittledrummerboys
115. AlphaTauri
116. Elephant's Eye
117. The Paw Relations
118. Milo and Alfie
119. Akelamalu
120. CyberCelt No.2
121. Rosidah, Indonesia
122. Pumpkin's World
123. Linda
124. Daisy the Curly Cat
125. CountryDew
126. Kathy Duffy Thomas
127. Kitty Quartet
128. Halley the Canis
129. CyberCelt
130. Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)
131. AlphaTauri
132. Fraidy Cats
133. Andy M.
134. Patty's Magpie Nest
135. Walk in the Woods
136. Tink
137. Poetry by Travis
138. maryt/theteach
139. nessa
140. Brian's Home
141. CatSynth
142. Jessica
143. The Carolina Cats
144. Yoursbond
145. boliyou
146. Desert Songbird
147. Four Crazy Cats
148. Julie
149. Allie SilverMoon
150. Vinny @ The Big Leather Couch
151. Sasa
152. Misty
153. RamblingWoods
154. Ivan Toblog
155. The Sherwood Bunch
156. Christy @ scrink.com
157. Simone
158. J�
159. ABBY
160. Random Felines
161. Charlie!
162. Peace Fresno
163. Luma Rosa
164. Lui, Heaven
165. George Clooney The Cat
166. Teri and the Cats of Furrydance
167. HoundsInHeaven
168. Ginger Jasper
169. Mama Pajama
170. Thorne
171. Crazed Nitwit
172. sammawow
173. Willow
174. Patti V.
175. China Cat Sunflower
176. Beth Q.
177. topchamp
178. Derby and Ducky
179. katherine.
180. Sans
181. Robin Jamison Hernandez
182. Magical Mystical Teacher
183. CindyLus Muse
184. Giggles
185. Sophia
186. Tripper the Psyko Stray Cat - Cowboy Cats for Peace
187. Skeezix the Cat
188. The Popculturedivas
189. Designing Impressions
190. The Rocky Mount Meezers
191. Coco
192. Your Caring Angels
193. cheryl
194. Valrie
195. Angell'z Secretz
196. Maya
197. Welshcakes Limoncello
198. Kiera's Korner
199. Michelle of CrowsFeet
200. The Misadventures of Me
201. A Peace Train
202. CatLadyLand
203. Want A Peace Globe? Click here! It's never too late.
204. Words that flow
205. Justine Drover
206. Trav's Thoughts
207. Kim Elovirta
208. The Adventures of Zevo Calamari and Boo
209. Big Leather Couch
210. Cory Cat Blog
211. Miranda Jewell
212. Mad Mustard
213. Carlota Zurlinden
214. Randy Moomaw
215. Peace Rocks
216. Living A Simple Green Life
217. Heksebua
218. WyzWmn's World
219. Mo Pittman and Eyad Hainey
220. Allie Silvermoon
221. Endangered Spaces
222. Browser Life ~ First peace globe from South Dakota
223. Always Remember The Beauty of The Garden
224. Nothing But Gray Matter
225. Thoughtful Reflections
226. Funky Luke
227. The Cat Post Intelligencer
228. What If This Is As Good As It Gets?
229. Cherie's Place
230. Nonamedufus
231. Chatting With The Muse
232. Alice Trudeau
233. Brad Smith
234. Albert Dicks
235. Meezer Tails
236. Thumper Thinks Out Loud
237. Sue Earle Glashofer
238. Ken Smith
239. Tinkerbell
240. Walk In The Woods, LLC
241. Magpie's Nest
242. Fairweather Lewis
243. It's All About The Whimsy!
244. RennyBA's Terella
245. My Blog of Whatever
246. Tybalt the Prince of Cats
247. Kirstin Jewell
248. The Best Parts
249. Yael Nehama Ortiz
250. David Gould
251. Janice D'Agostino
252. Hope Cervantez Flores
253. Diane Hsz
254. Alicia Ballard @ Terra Studios
255. Taz, Runt, Charles and mommy, Anna, in IL
256. Cactus Jack Splash

9 comments:

Anndi said...

I am filled with pride, my eyes are filled with tears and my heart is filled with love and Peace... you do know how do give the most beautiful gift, Maestra. Thank you for giving us a dream, something to believe in... and a way to DO something about it.

Jans Funny Farm said...

Thank you for helping us to participate.

Brenda @ Its A Beautiful Life said...

Wow..... I love how you put that!

Stacy Uncorked said...

Thank you for the opportunity to participate!

Billie Greenwood said...

Love in action is the way to peace. Thank you for a beautiful tribute to two ordinary/extraordinary people. The Blog Blast project puts love into action. Peace!

Anonymous said...

Hi Thanks so much for doing this !
I have had great fun too
peace shanti shalom
lov rox

Jô said...

Hello, Mimi!
I left my humble contribution to the Blog Blast for Peace in 2010 and that more good things to emerge around the world.
Your great initiative!
See ya!
PAZ E BEM!

Lui said...

Hi Annie!
We are all blasting about peace today although I am linking only two of our sites!

Peace all!

KimT said...

Beautiful, inspiring words. Thank you!

About Sharing, Linking, and Copyright

Your peace globe and post will be assigned a number and placed in the Official Gallery at blog4peace.com. By participating in Blog4Peace you agree that your peace globe designs and links may be displayed on other social sites such as Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, Digg, etc and shared across the Blogosphere wherever peace bloggers are found online, in the name of world peace and in the spirit of promoting this work. They may also be used in printed works and publications online and elsewhere by the founder of this movement, Mimi Lenox, in creating published works about the Blog4Peace movement.
Every effort will be made to credit, notify and obtain permission from the artist if and when the design on your peace globe template is chosen to be featured in printed works, books, or online publications.
If you do NOT want your peace globe design shared and made accessible to others, let me know the day it is submitted or simply submit an anonymous unsigned peace globe.

Otherwise, please understand that this movement is all about spreading the message.

Thank you for being part of this incredible community of peace bloggers.

About Sharing and Linking:
It is perfectly alright to SHARE via share buttons on social media sites from this blog. These beautiful creations and words should be seen and heard in the Blogosphere. However, images and links on this website may not be copied, downloaded or redistributed offline in printed works for profit or elsewhere online for profit without express permission of the blog author, Mimi Lenox. Uses other than sharing from a Share button is a violation of copyright.
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Special Launch Event Thursday, July 12, 2012

We launched the 2012 BlogBlast4Peace season with a trip to the shore (real and virtual). I am already on the Atlantic. If you were here with us July 12 at sunset, even in spirit, then you were a part of the 2012 launch for BlogBlast4Peace. I can think of no better way to announce our November 4th campaign than a designated time for all to bring the same thoughts and vibes to the table....er...ocean. Then it won't be just me making an announcement. It will be all of us. I like it!
Facebook Event page is here. It was a great success. Thank you. Let the peace begin.

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